Our story- PART 1

Our Story- Part 1

Yes.  Our son has ADHD.  I could go through the saga in which we spent the first 6 years of his life just thinking he was a “bad” kid.  Hours could be spent simply discussing my husband and my decision to take him to a shrink  for the first time.  Another novel could be written discussing the pros and cons of medication, and our decision to do so.

But, in this blog, I will focus mostly on recent event.  Events involving the education system and how it fails children in our son’s situation.  It will document our decision to move our son into a virtual academy and homeschool him.

Let me start off by saying, I’m not trying to bash the public education system.  IN FACT, I MYSELF AM A PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I am a teacher.  In a public high school.  I know first hand, the trials and tribulations that teacher’s face when dealing with students that do not fit into a certain mold. 

My daughters, well, they FIT THE MOLD.  They sit quietly, do all the assignments, smile, act polite, nod their heads and do what the teacher tells them to do.  The system is working for them. 

With that said, I can also say with complete certainty, that the public school system is failing my son.  He questions the reasoning behind doing things.  He asks “If I know this material, why do I have to take notes about it?”  or  “I learn from listening “ or “I do good on the tests, why do I have to do all this extra practice stuff?”  He tells me he has a hard time “multi-tasking” like the teacher wants him to. 

Did I mention, he is 9? 

School has generally been a struggle for Ty.  He doesn’t really LIKE what he is learning most of the time, but he learns it, does decent on the tests, and turns in most of his work.  I accepted the fact that he probably isn’t going to be an honor student a few years ago, but I don’t accept poor performance for reasons like “I don’t FEEL like doing it”.   

We’ve spent the past few years bashing it into his skull that the world doesn’t care if this learning style doesn’t work for you.  It is what is expected and YOU MUST CONFORM.  Pony..  here is a hoop… jump through it!  It has been a constant struggle for my family. 

This school year started out pretty good.  We met with his teacher before school started.  She was laid back, seemed ADHD herself, was artsy, young and energetic.  Ty had an immediate bond with her.  We explained his situation to her, and with a wink and a smile, she told us things would be great.  And they were.  They were FANTASTIC!  Then, 4 weeks into the school year, she left the school to move to a different state. 

Ty was heartbroken.  And as parents, we know that CHANGE is one of our son’s biggest ADHD outburst triggers.  He had 2 subs in a matter of 3 weeks.  Then, his NEW permanent teacher came in.  And she was the worst “type” he could have gotten.  I swear, if it weren’t for bad luck, this kid would have no luck at all. 

The new teacher (let’s call her Ms. R) is a HARD ASS. She is overly strict, overly picky, and not at all flexible.  Ty was missing a couple of writing assignments from the transition period when the subs were there, and he asked Ms. R about making those assignments up.  She told him she wouldn’t allow it.  We wrote a note to ask her (because we thought Ty was lying) and she tells us that TY will have to track down the FORMER TEACHER and ask the FORMER teacher for the assignments and credit.  Seriously?  He’s 9.  I think teaching my 9 year old how to use Google to cyber stalk a teacher is in bad form…  but I digress.

And that is just the academic side.  Since Ms. R has taken over, we’ve gotten a couple of notes home regarding Ty’s behavior.  The few written interaction we’ve has with Ms. R have not been very pleasant or informative. He is telling us he is getting in trouble in class for doing things like “squeeking his tennis shoes” and “talking”.  He probably isn’t acting MALICOUSLY, and we really just need to get the teacher to give us a call, and we can figure out a way to get him “on her side”.  Instead of fighting against the rebelling hyperactive kid, Teacher School 101 is to learn how to get that kid ON YOUR TEAM.

Also, we need to figure out if maybe he needs a medication adjustment.  He has been on the same dosage of Concerta since he was 7.  Maybe we need to adjust things.  However, I think that Ms. R has a low tolerance for ANY behavior issue (classroom management much?), and am concerned that if I asked for her opinion, she’d want us to adjust his medication to ZOMBIE level so she wouldn’t have to deal with him at all.

So, we’ve requested, in writing, several times (returning progress reports or in my son’s agenda) that she give us a call.  We’ve heard nothing from her.  In the meantime, my husband receives calls on his cell phone from the school nurse, “parentlink”, etc… at least once a week.