All ashore that are going ashore

All went well, and we managed to get Ty registered for the virtual school.  However, it happened on Friday, which meant he wouldn’t be able to start the program this week.  Shipping is currently taking place and we should be receiving our materials soon, so he can begin coursework on Monday the 14^th.

What that meant for this week, is that Ty had to go back to the public school for a 3 day week.  ONLY  3 MORE DAYS!

What could possibly go wrong?

Monday was fine.  Went off without a hitch. 

Tuesday.  Ty gets home.  Mood seems fine.  He says his day went fine.  Awesome.  One more day to go!

As my husband and I are getting in the car, at 3:08pm, to go to the grocery store his phone rings.  It is the school number.  We assume it is an automated call of some sort.

He answers. 

From my side I hear:

“Yes, this is he.”

“Who?”

“Are you serious?  You are finally calling me?”

And the rest goes down like this…

It was Ty’s teacher, Mrs. R.  Apparently she found a way to call my husband’s “out of state” long distance number.  She wanted to schedule an appointment between herself, my husband and the assistant principal to “air out any concerns that we might have.”

Way to close the barn door after the horse is out, lady.

My husband informed her that a meeting wouldn’t be necessary.  We were pulling our son out of the school.  Then she laughed.  To which my husband stated, “I know you are HAPPY that he won’t be a problem for you anymore.  What a relief right?”  To which she LAUGHED OUT LOUD and in a condescending tone said, “Sir,(sigh) you know that’s not true.”

At that point my husband lost it.  He was SHAKING with rage.  I know he wanted to let her have it, but he remained civil.  He pointed out that it was FAR too late in the process to even consider a parent conference and that he thought it was pretty chicken shit to call him the day before SHE KNEW we were pulling Ty out of school.  (Ty had told her that he was leaving)

In fact, my husband asked her why she hadn’t called WEEKS ago, when he wrote the number in the agenda, and practically BEGGED her to get in contact with us.  Her excuse, “I couldn’t find a private room to make the call from.”

WHAT, pray tell, do you need to be in a PRIVATE room for, to make a parent phone call?

My hubby was fuming.  “WHAT could you possibly have to say OUT LOUD to ME, as a parent, that you wouldn’t want co-workers, or the principal to hear?”

She had no response. 

So he asked again, LOUDER. 

Again, she could not give any reason as to why she would have to speak to us, in a private setting.  All she could muster was, “do you want to have the meeting with me and the assistant principal or not.”

No ma’am.  No thank you.

Before we continued on our errands, we stopped at the school to withdraw him immediately.  I was not going to subject him to one more moment with this woman.  The process was actually relatively painless, but took FOREVER.

As we were waiting for the paperwork to sign, we overheard a parent/teacher/student conference that was happening, right out in the open, in the office.  It was a 4^th grade (Not my son’s)  teacher. She was going ON AND ON about how this kid can’t sit still, interrupts class, doesn’t get his work done, etc..  The 9 year old boy was in tears.  The mother was BEGGING the teacher for help.  She was asking for any resources possible.  She thought that maybe her son had ADHD.  Maybe he needed some additional support.  The teacher looked her dead in the face and said, “then maybe you need to take him to see a psychologist, there is nothing the school can do for him” and continued to verbally beat this kid up for his behavior in her class.

At the end of the session, the mother was crying that she couldn’t afford medical assessments, the teacher was at her wit’s end, and the kid was crying.  And all in all, as an end result, the 5^th largest school district in the USA, turned a family away and said “WE CANNOT HELP YOU.  FIX YOUR KID OR WE DON’T WANT HIM.” 

Here is our boat.  It is full of holes and filling up with water.  Either start bailing the boat, or get OFF.  We won’t give you a bucket, or teach you an effective way to bail.  You need to see what the others are doing and be like them.  JUST DO IT, OK?  If you can’t pull your own weight, or if you ask someone to show you, we will make you walk the plank.

I was almost in tears myself.  I could feel this mother’s desperation.  Her exhaustion has been my own.  I KNOW there are resources available to her, but I don’t know WHAT they are or how to get them to her.  And her son.  In her son’s eyes I saw my own son’s struggle.  I saw fear and hopelessness.  I saw a student that will continue to get “pushed through” to become the next teacher’s problem each year. 

In 5 years, that student will end up in MY high school science classroom, without the basic skills to be able to read or write, because no one saw his struggle, or offered a helping hand, and I will have to find ways to help him.

Some days I feel like I’m the only one that WANTS to help anyone.