Our Story- PART 2

Then, on TUESDAY NOVEMBER 1, 2011, the straw finally broke the camel’s back.

My son comes home with an updated progress report.  His grades have fallen from A/B’s to straight C’s.  He is still dealing with an F in writing, because he was never allowed to make up the missed assignments that happened when the sub was there. Because, apparently in the REAL WORLD, if you miss a deadline, you just don’t have to DO IT ANY MORE. (ohhhhhh what a different place the business world would be if this were true)

On his progress report, in red ink, hand written, are the words:

Does only 10-20% of his work.  CONSTANT disruption in class. NO HOMEWORK.

My son has crossed out the 10-20% and wrote 50% instead.  We asked him why, and he said “I do at LEAST half of it”. (Heh.. at least he understands fractions, right?)  I was fuming.  Steam was coming out of my ears.  BUT, I actually giggled.  Because honestly, if he is still getting C’s, he HAS to be doing more than 10%.  Also, I SEE HIS HOMEWORK and check it every day.  It is possible he’s not turning it in, I agree with that (which we had a HUGE discussion about), but I KNOW he is doing it. But she will not allow ANY late work. 

In an interesting turn of events, on the SAME progress report, he is meeting or exceeding ALL the tested standards (except for 2 in writing where I know he is struggling).  SO, in essence, he has tested AT or ABOVE grade level for all the things he is expected to know, but is failing, or getting C’s because he doesn’t want to do the busy work.

OK, so WHY did THIS DAY break the camel’s back, you ask? Well… I  haven’t told you the whole story yet.

Attached to the progress report was a “behavior notice” for the month of October.  She tallied up ALL the warnings/mistakes he had made in class for an entire month and sent the report home to inform us of all these problems (you know, some of which occurred 30 days ago) all at once.

He had 10 warnings, 2 names on the board, and 2 written reflections.  Never once in her discipline plan, had he made it to a point where she thought it was bad enough to call home or send him to the office.  Yet somehow, now, I was supposed to punish him, or at least try to talk to him, about issues that happened a MONTH ago, that he can’t even remember…

Ty was in tears.  He was crying. 

“She expects me to be a perfect little angel all the time.” 

“She doesn’t understand me and what I need.” 

“She has me sitting so far in the back of the room I can’t see and barely hear her.”

“When I ask her a question about the assignment we are suppose to be doing she tells me to just read instead”

“Today, I got in trouble for nothing.  LITERALLY NOTHING.  I wasn’t doing anything.  But I had to write my name up on the board because I was supposed to be doing SOMETHING I guess”

He had a complete and total meltdown.  Tears.  Rage.  Frustration. 

I was seeing the school system fail us, in my living room.

Then, here is the kicker.  In his agenda, she wrote the following, in ALL CAPS:

PLEASE PROVIDE ME WITH A LOCAL NUMBER OR CALL ME AT THE SCHOOL!!! I MUST TALK TO YOU NOW!!!

Well, when my husband dialed the school number (with no extension given, mind you) the office was already closed.  At 2:40pm. (School lets out at 2:10).  Also, WE DON’T HAVE A LOCAL NUMBER.  It is a cell phone number.  Somehow the school nurse and the auto-dialer manage to make calls to it.  If your classroom phone won’t let you dial a long distance number, FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT!!!

(As an aside, I work for the SAME district.  I can make a long distance call from the counseling office but I’ve found if I need to call a long distance number, I just use my personal cell phone for fuck’s sake)

Now… my son is crying and my husband is pissed off and I’m exhausted after teaching 201 of my OWN students all day.  There has GOT  to be a better way for us to get through this. 

I explained it to a friend like this:

For my son, trying to conform to a mainstream classroom is like trying to get a triangular shaped peg into a round hole.  The hammer is pounding away on the peg.  The peg is crying because it can’t fit in.  The hole is crying because it can’t be the right shape.  The hammer is upset because it is working hard to make the peg fit, but it is all wasted energy.

I know we should be able to keep him in a public school setting.  We can label him special needs, tag him with a legal document (504 plan) and make the entire world conform to HIM.  He will always be the child that teachers talk about in the faculty lounge.  My husband and I will forever be the pushy parents that administrators dread meeting with. 

I don’t want that.

I don’t want that stigma for my son.  He doesn’t have the right to be a constant disruption to other student’s. He doesn’t have the right to expect to be treated differently than any other kid in a classroom.  His brain is wired differently.  I guess that makes him a “spesual sn0flacke” to some people, but it doesn’t make him dumb, or entitled.  It shouldn’t make him be singled out for “preferential seating” or  different grading standards.  I don’t need a 504 plan to help a teacher decide how to effectively manage her classroom.

However, as a parent, I DO have the right to advocate for my child.  And what I am telling you, is that the average way of doing business doesn’t WORK for my son.  He has the RIGHT to be given every opportunity to be successful, and from our 5 years in the public school system, we are realizing that THEY aren’t IT.  He needs something different. 

My husband and I began looking at online/virtual schools and came across k12.com. We sent in an interest form and within 3 minutes, received a phone call to tell us about the program, get a feel for our situation, and explain how they might be able to help our son.  At the end of the 45 minute phone call, we were impressed, but not sold on it.  My husband decided he would go to the public school the next morning and meet with the principal.  He wanted to give the public school system ONE MORE TRY.  Maybe we just weren’t communicating our needs effectively.

So, this morning, my husband dropped the kids off at school, he popped into the office to meet with the principal.  

Her secretary asked, “Do you have an appointment?”

Husband: “No, but it is urgent that I see her as soon as possible.”

Secretary: “What is this regarding?”

Husband: “Ummm.. my son and his future here at this school.”

Secretary: “Have you meet with the teacher yet?”

Husband: “I’ve been trying but communication has broken down.  That is part of the problem I’d like to address with the principal.”

Secretary: “Oh well, if you haven’t met with the teacher first, the principal will not have a meeting with you.  Sorry.”

Husband: “Wait.. what?”

Secretary:  *blank stare*

Husband: “Oh wait… Are you serious? *confused*  Really?”

Secretary: “Yes sir, you need to meet with the teacher first.”

Husband: “You understand that I’ve been trying to, and I can’t get a hold of her, right?”

Secretary:  *blank stare*

Husband: “OK, I’d like to withdraw my son from this school.”

Secretary: “OK Sir, I can help you with that.” *smile*

And just like that, they let him slip through the cracks…

We will be enrolling him in k12.com curriculum starting on Monday.

This blog is intended to document our experiences with homeschool for our son.